In recognising, owning and announcing the presence of my anger, I took my first step.<\/p>\n
As I like to do, knowing that each problem we encounter has many roots and branches, I am taking a multi-pronged healing approach. My homeopath is supporting my energies and calm; whilst I am even more conscious of my nutrition and sleep (not easy with two little ones); but I knew that I needed more and dived into a book ‘The surprising purpose of anger’ which led me to the Centre for NonViolent Communication (www.cnvc.org<\/a>).\u00a0 <\/em><\/cite><\/p>\n From there I traced a path, supported by internet strangers full of compassion and grace, to an NVC counsellor here in the UK who was able to come to my home and talk. Talk….<\/p>\n I have done some deep, powerful, shifting processes in my time that reached to my core wounds and brought them to light. This time, I just talked and cried. I shared with someone that I felt so surprisingly safe with because he understood, it was his expertise, he would not accept but nor would he judge. That was a key for me, I did not want anyone to excuse my anger, offer me reasons or justifications but, in the same breath, I wanted so desperately to be understood.<\/p>\n What I exposed, was the absolute terror I have of repeating the representation of anger I grew up with, the out of control, frightening and paralysing expressions of rage and ultimately the withdrawal of love. Yet the fear was manifesting. From the first time I had allowed my anger to be ‘out of control’, to shout without bounds, to slam doors with an energy that buzzed every nerve, I feared I had entered The Underworld, with no hope of return. The fear that I was not the person I wanted to be, the mother I hoped I could be, was creating the monster that I was becoming.<\/p>\n And I brought it to light….<\/p>\n And it stopped….<\/p>\n No, I am not without my anger, nor am I really close to the summit of my mountain as yet. But in recognising how much that fear was creating my reality, I regained my own ability to choose. I have seen that I am this person because how could I not be? That is simply the way I learned to express my own rage. Rather than denying it and pushing it down only to explode through my shame, I am owning it. And by owning it, I can sense it’s arrival without hiding and that gives me just those few extra seconds, those brief moments to choose to do it differently.<\/p>\n I have a lot of relearning to do, I huge amount of self awareness to create and a long path before my little girl truly feels safe with me again, but I am climbing.. up and up and up….<\/p>\n (A debt of gratitude to Daren DeWitt www.nvc-resolutions.co.uk<\/a>)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" In recognising, owning and announcing the presence of my anger, I took my first step. As I like to do, knowing that each problem we encounter has many roots and branches, I am taking a multi-pronged healing approach. My homeopath is supporting my energies and calm; whilst I am even more conscious of my nutrition … Continue reading “Climbing my mountain.”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,3],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-46","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-holistic-health-emotional-healing","category-parenting"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=46"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":50,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/46\/revisions\/50"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=46"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=46"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=46"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}