{"id":715,"date":"2018-06-02T20:36:07","date_gmt":"2018-06-02T19:36:07","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/?p=715"},"modified":"2018-06-02T20:50:50","modified_gmt":"2018-06-02T19:50:50","slug":"i-need-a-man","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/archives\/715","title":{"rendered":"I Need A Man"},"content":{"rendered":"

There is a huge part of me that is sitting in anxious resistance to this title but I also know that now is the time to walk through this barrier and embrace a new paradigm.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I have spent 40 years of my life adamantly claiming that I don\u2019t need a man to be happy or complete or to help or support me. It\u2019s an added nicety that I\u2019ve had one by my side for the last 13 years, who has fathered my children and kept food on the table (organic at that!) and a roof over our head. But in my head and in my speech I have still maintained that I have never \u2018needed\u2019 him.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In fact, in some ways that was a part of our success so far, the fact that I didn\u2019t need him, but I did want him. Need is the ultimate vulnerability and hey I wasn\u2019t going to give into that without a fight! My mother brought me and my brother up mostly single handedly from when I was 8 years old; she was fiercely independent, DIY-ed her way around the home and shunned the lesser skills of her masculine counterparts. She could do a better job and so often that was absolutely true.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

But I have finally clicked. I don\u2019t just want a man, my husband, but I need him too.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

As much as I can take on most of the skills, often assigned to the masculine, there is one thing I absolutely cannot do for myself. I cannot create life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

No matter how I choose to conceive; in or out of relationship, with or without the actual presence of a man, naturally or aided, personally or anonymously, I still NEED a man\u2019s sperm to unite with my egg in order to create life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

It was this flash thought that made me reconsider my stance on needing and wanting. In light of the energy of radical feminism, blanket equality and other passionate discussions on gender roles or otherwise, I realised how much my refusal to \u2018need\u2019 my man is damaging my relationship with him and with the masculine.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

If I \u2018have\u2019 to need him in order to create life, I can either consider that need and minimise it to crude function or I can enlarge it to the more spacious picture of balance; two sides, two offerings, two parts to make one whole.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

By allowing myself to need him, I can expand this idea into exploring where we can support each other within our own personal strengths and weaknesses; to be the yin to his yang and work as a whole unit rather than just as connected individuals.<\/p>\n

All of this makes deep spiritual sense to me now.<\/p>\n

How much have I been holding and carrying simply because I have refused to need him? Now we can share our loads with respect and harmony, acknowledging our united power and grace whilst balancing our souls.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I am curious to take this back out into the world and let myself openly need others too; to offer my willing vulnerability as a partnership in so many ways, with my children, with my friends and peers and, most significantly, with the masculine. Just because I can do and achieve something on my own does not mean it is the best or most enlightened way for it to be done. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Nature offers me constant visual reminders of the beauty, significance and necessity of duality and, as I choose nature to be my guide, I am proud to say how much I need my man.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

There is a huge part of me that is sitting in anxious resistance to this title but I also know that now is the time to walk through this barrier and embrace a new paradigm.\u00a0 I have spent 40 years of my life adamantly claiming that I don\u2019t need a man to be happy or … Continue reading “I Need A Man”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":716,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,1],"tags":[23,117,60,140,143,135,11,19,12,141,69,139,138,137,144,142,136],"class_list":["post-715","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-holistic-health-emotional-healing","category-personal-moments","tag-balance","tag-compassion","tag-connection","tag-duality","tag-equality","tag-feminine","tag-feminism","tag-healing","tag-love","tag-man","tag-masculine","tag-nature","tag-patriarchy","tag-relationships","tag-vulnerability","tag-woman","tag-yin-and-yang"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/715","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=715"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/715\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":719,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/715\/revisions\/719"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/716"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=715"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=715"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=715"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}