{"id":84,"date":"2013-05-06T21:33:23","date_gmt":"2013-05-06T20:33:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/?p=84"},"modified":"2013-05-06T21:33:23","modified_gmt":"2013-05-06T20:33:23","slug":"a-tribute-to-my-father","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/archives\/84","title":{"rendered":"A Tribute to My Father"},"content":{"rendered":"

\"Alick\"<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Alick Elithorn\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0<\/strong><\/p>\n

16th December 1920 – 16th April 2013<\/strong><\/p>\n

Alick was an extraordinary mind and a complex individual. His long life and extended battle towards the end pays its own tribute to his strength and determination, not forgetting his stubbornness. \u00a0<\/span>His relationships, both professional and personal, were detailed stories in and of themselves, with each holding their own unique and different memories of his character.<\/p>\n

Through facing some challenging family situations as a small boy, it is not hard to see why he chose a career of passion in studying the mind and no matter how complicated his personal life became, it is clear that he excelled in his field.<\/p>\n

His peers describe him as a \u2018genius\u2019,\u2019 ahead of his time\u2019 and a \u2018pioneer\u2019 and his CV reveals the depths of his knowledge and experience. From fellowships to department heads, lecturer to researcher, his vision was sought after and in some cases exploited. \u00a0<\/span>His cerebral intelligence was highlighted in his ability to create computer programmes for conducting psychological and neuropsychological assessment and as his colleague Gary Kay expressed, \u2018he remained one of the most creative minds in the area of cognitive assessment\u2019. Certainly, as his offspring, we were also his guinea pigs for endless rounds of Maze and C-tests in front of the computer.<\/p>\n

But it didn\u2019t stop there. Beyond the endless research and new projects that were constantly evolving, he would also stretch his interest to other areas. Founding \u2018Families Need Fathers\u2019 and running Game Advice; inventing his own board game and an infatuation with website names; there was always a new scheme, a new idea bubbling away.\u00a0 <\/span>How he had much time for a personal life is remarkable achievement in itself, but he certainly made enough time to live through two marriages, four children, 5 grandchildren and a few more significant and important unions.<\/p>\n

And so we come to Alick, the father. It is no secret that he struggled at times in connecting with us, his children, yet when sharing our memories, we all have these nuggets of gold that he gave us. Whether for Justin, such practical gifts; deeply ingrained memories of learning how to light a fire or change the wheel on a car; memories that are stimulated regularly in daily life.\u00a0 <\/span>For Cavendish, it\u2019s the habit of intellectual curiosity, Alick would always challenge him to think and discover for himself; whether it was returning questions about the world, disassembling an old phone or finding his way round computers. For myself, freedom, a knowledge that ploughing your own path is not only acceptable but also exciting and stimulating. And for Clare, we can only speculate, she has taken her gifts with her as she rests in peace, but considering her vocation as a radiologist, she definitely claimed his desire to heal.<\/p>\n

His role as a father was probably the hardest challenge for him, as children mirror their parent\u2019s fears and shadows, we certainly pressed his buttons.\u00a0 <\/span>But aside from the practicalities of parenting, which left him fairly bemused, he always had a scheme or project that he wanted to include us in and that has to stand on its own as a testament to his desire to have us involved in his life.<\/p>\n

Above all he was a passionate eccentric. A man who looked in his diary only to discover that he had missed an entire evening held in his honour; a man who drove us around Eastbourne for hours looking for the hotel for his conference, sure he had good reason to have remembered the hotel\u2019s name but at a loss as to what it was \u2013 he had, it was The Cavendish.\u00a0 <\/span>A man that had a ditty to sing on every occasion; who bought morris minors as if they were going out of fashion; who had bizarre concoctions of food bubbling on his stove; and who brought a homeless man into his house to live with him as a personal project. . He was difficult, charismatic, charming, challenging, harsh, funny, unique and ultimately one-of-a-kind. He will never be forgotten, he made sure of that.<\/p>\n

We say goodbye to him with a melting pot of feelings swirling through us, but what I see in myself and in my brothers is an unexpected tenderness towards this unfathomable man and I am happy that we can send him off with that.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\u00a7\u00a7\u00a7\u00a7\u00a7\u00a7\u00a7\u00a7\u00a7<\/strong><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

The Beauty Of Death – (Part Two – The Ascending)<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

by Kahlil Gibran<\/span><\/strong><\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span><\/b><\/p>\n

I have passed a mountain peak and my soul is soaring in the firmament of complete and unbound freedom;<\/span><\/p>\n

I am far, far away, my companions, and the clouds are hiding the hills from my eyes.<\/span><\/p>\n

The valleys are becoming flooded with an ocean of silence, and the hands of oblivion are engulfing the roads and the houses;<\/span><\/p>\n

The prairies and fields are disappearing behind a white specter that looks like the spring cloud, yellow as the candlelight and red as the twilight.<\/span><\/p>\n

The songs of the waves and the humans of the streams are scattered, and the voices of the throngs reduced to silence;<\/span><\/p>\n

And I can hear naught but the music of eternity in exact harmony with the spirit’s desires.<\/span><\/p>\n

I am cloaked in full whiteness;<\/span><\/p>\n

I am in comfort; <\/span><\/p>\n

I am in peace.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Alick Elithorn\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0\u00a0 16th December 1920 – 16th April 2013 Alick was an extraordinary mind and a complex individual. His long life and extended battle towards the end pays its own tribute to his strength and determination, not forgetting his stubbornness. \u00a0His relationships, both professional and personal, were detailed stories in and of themselves, with each … Continue reading “A Tribute to My Father”<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-84","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-personal-moments"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=84"}],"version-history":[{"count":8,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":93,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/84\/revisions\/93"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=84"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=84"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/soulreflection.co.uk\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=84"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}