Is breastfeeding a choice? Not quite that simple…

In response to an article posted in the Huffington Post on 11th May (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/gayle-tzemach/breastfeeding_b_1509658.html)

I am rather frightened by the idea that breastfeeding can be dismissed as a simple choice, ‘if you want to or not’… Breastfeeding is the BEST way to feed and nurture our children and there are no other alternative that come close to meeting all the elements that b/feeding fulfills. A child who is breastfeed (on demand ideally) has a myriad of health benefits, not just as an infant but stretching across a lifetime. On top of which and equally as important is the psychological element: the secure attachment, the self esteem, the independence giving, the nurturing, the non verbal love that is passed through breastfeeding. It is a massive discussion point and cannot, must not, be broken down to a simple ‘choice’ as if choosing flats or high-heels, country or town, career or housewife. A child’s human rights are involved in this decision and we need to look at that very very carefully indeed.

I don’t think anyone really denies the health benefits of breast-milk, although some have convinced themselves that formula might come close. It doesn’t, just take a quick look at this comparison of ingredients/components of breast-milk and formula – http://www.bcbabyfriendly.ca/whatsinbreastmilkposter.pdf. The World Health Organisation (WHO) places formula as 4th choice – 1st is breastfed by mother, 2nd is bottle fed expressed milk by mother, 3rd is bottle fed expressed milk by another mother and 4th is formula. FOURTH choice – how often do we choose something for ourselves and say ‘can’t have 1st choice, I’ll settle for 4th?’…. The WHO also recommend that we b/feed our children for a minimum of 2 years, why? Because it provides solid nutrition and enormous health benefits, creating a strong immune system.

I am a mother of two and when pregnant with my 1st child thought, ‘well I’ll b/feed for 6 months because that’s what a baby needs’. Thank goodness we hired a wonderful midwife and did some solid reading and research before I settled on that ‘choice’. I am currently still breastfeeding my almost 3 year old and her little brother, just 3 months. If I settle for two children it looks like I’ll be breastfeeding continuously for at least 6 years…. ooooof. That’s a massive commitment and if I dwelt on the ‘time’ element I could easily feel overwhelmed by the thought of it. Instead I’ve taken it day by day and what I really understand is how b/feeding has played such a vital and integral role to my toddler’s happiness, security and well-being. It is her rock from which she is free to roam and always return to. I have fed her through sickness, when no food passed her lips and her fever soared, confident that she was remaining hydrated and nourished. I have fed her when her head has crashed into concrete as she finds her feet, and felt that pain ease as she nurses. My daughter has never had antibiotics, nor in fact any conventional medicines. She has not needed them, she had comfort. Even through a broken arm, with any twinge, she fed and soothed. How can that be dismissed?  In meeting new people or experiencing new adventures she can always return to my arms and my breasts, she is confident, happy, independent. Ask almost any child psychologist and they will affirm that creating confident, happy children requires a child with secure attachment (not, as is presumed, one that has been dispatched to nursery etc with the idea of socialising) but one that knows it always has a place to return to. Breastfeeding provides so much of this reassurance because it skips the step that relate to our own insecurities as parents, they are not returning to our face full of the fears of life, but to the raw, innate, natural body-to-body, mother-to-child security.

So when we talk about choice, whose choice are we considering? Where are the advocates for our children and their choices? Do you think if we asked them in 20 or 30 years – these are the benefits of being breastfed, would you like them or not? How many would turn them down?

There is only one part of the Huffington Post article that I do agree with and that is that the pressure on individual mothers need to stop. This discussion is not to play with the fragile emotions of a new mother or mother-to-be or even mothers who have passed that point and leave them eternally guilty. No, that is not healthy nor helpful. But rather than counter that by making it a ‘choice’, we need to use the energy to pressurise our governments and our societal expectations to change, to address this issue head on and with the highest of priorities. In Sweden over 90% of mothers b/feed for more than a year because their society supports and values it. In the UK, a pitiful 20% of mothers b/feed longer than 6 weeks. That just highlights how much the attitude of government and society affect our decisions. So let’s stop saying we can’t b/feed (because only 3% of women physically can’t, the rest just think they can’t!) and let’s lobby for some BIG changes. We need lactation consultants available from birth to all women; we need compassionate maternity leave; we need public breastfeeding to be supported and welcomed; we need to reevaluate our priorities as parents and provide the space that is required for b/feeding and most importantly we need to stop treating our children as commodities, they are HUMAN BEINGS with rights and choices and they deserve the very BEST.