Category: Books

Christ Returns – of maybe not!

It’s not often I slate a book but I couldn’t even bring myself to finish this one, so full of human ignorance presented as spiritual doctrine. 

I had loved the idea of reading this because I adore the Conversations with God series by Neale Donald Walsch. Channelling wisdom, whether from our innate being or from other realms, texts like these often carry so many nuggets of gold, encouragement and faith. 

This, however, was a travesty of that principle. Whoever the ‘Recorder’ is seems to have imagined the story of Jesus based solely on their own interpretation and spiritual belief, I can’t for one moment believe that there is any true channelling or even connection to inner truth. Contradictions run through all the pages: ‘thank goodness Jesus was a rebel as it opened his heart to look outside of the religious doctrine of the day but if you rebel against absorbing the doctrine of this book you will bring hardship on yourself, despite the fact that god isn’t punishing.’ To précis just a fraction of the mess! 

Added to this, having personally been fascinated by the idea of Jesus as a human being and having looked into the historical evidence of his existence, it is clear the ‘Recorder’ hasn’t bothered with any of that and just states their own belief of the version of events because they claim they are speaking on behalf of Christ. It’s quite laughable except when it becomes antisemitic and explains that Jews have brought all that has befallen them on themselves because of the way they practice their religion, under the guise of ‘law of attraction’.  

That’s when I stopped reading. 

I thought of not bothering to write up this book, best just to ignore and not give energy to, but actually I think it’s important to acknowledge how easy it can be to present work as facts and information rather than owning that it is just a personal belief. I could readily accept this book as someone’s ideas, I might reject it or just cherry pick the worthwhile elements but pretending this comes from Jesus’s spirit is quite another level! 

A great reminder to stick to ‘I’ statements. Speaking on behalf of someone else only brings confusion! LOL.  

First published on social media on 20th July 2023

The Truth About Covid-19

First printed in April 21 and yet already they knew so much including the likely global side effects from the ✌️All of this information has now been even more deeply exposed but this is a great book to understand what has played out over the last three and a half years. With a forward by presidential candidate Robert Kennedy, one of my all time heroes, this is a powerhouse of information, research, knowledge and wisdom.

PS. Please note the great feminist icon who has paved the way for the free for all poisoning and disabling of our children. #baderginsburg

First published on social media on 14th June 2023

When The Drummers Were Women

This book falls in two parts for me. The first is a little disappointment. I found it a bit dry and would have preferred more anecdotal or even mythical stories rather than a catalogue of historical references. Added to that I think the object of highlighting feminine power and spirituality connected to drumming, whilst worthy and valid, felt over inflated when matriarchy was lauded and patriarchy demonised. Off balance, to sum it up.

However, the richness of the topic itself helps to override my critique and having had my own experience playing a frame drum and, without any context or lead in, found myself transported to my ancestral lineage, there is certainly more power in the energy of drumming than solely the creation of simple music. 

With the renewed call for sound healings, gong baths and the like, added to my own dive into the possibility of sound and vibration being the uber technology that could have been the core power behind previous advanced civilisations, there is unquestionably a theme energetically. 

Connecting to our vibrations and nature’s, whether to influence weather, call a swarm of bees, heal wounds or cut rock, reveals an untapped and unresourced power yearning to be released. I feel society is heading back to reclaiming it all and I’m thankful and excited for that. 

And I wouldn’t mind finding my own frame drum along the way… 

First published on social media on 22nd May 2023

Ho’oponopono

One of my experiences over my decades of healing and evolving was visiting a spiritual healer recommended by someone I’d crossed paths with. It all feels ages ago and I sadly can’t even remember her name but I do remember her beautiful energy. She offered the kindest heart and I felt so held and seen by her…. Just that was so healing in and of itself. She also introduced me to Ho’oponopono, although it was something she facilitated for me rather than me taking it home as another tool in my belt.  

And now this philosophy has found its way back to me in the way these things do, in this little book packed with a jumble of thoughts and ideas. I don’t love the way the book is written, ironically the energy of the writers (there are 3) didn’t really resonate but the power of the shamanic Ho’oponopono principles rise above any jarring text. 

Mantras and phrases have really worked for me over the years when rewiring my neuroprogramming, repeating words to replace the negative patterns in my head  and quickly creating key words that can switch me from fear to love. Ho’oponopono is just this: ‘I’m sorry, forgive me, thank you, I love you.’

Understanding the intention of each word, apologising for bringing our past experiences into colour the present; forgiving ourselves for these easy and habitual mistakes; grateful for the gifts each of these moments can bring; and love for ourselves, each other and divinity itself. How powerful, how simple, how easy to implement. 

With each difficult moment, with each judgement, to repeat the words, to feel the intention, to rewire our brains. This is a possibility for everyone.  

First published on social media on 30th April 2023

German New Medicine, GNM

German New Medicine (GNM) was first mentioned to me about 6/7 years ago and it immediately rang a chord. A principle of medicine directly correlating emotional events to our health crises.

I had connected the dots of health and emotions well over twenty years ago when I began healing myself from PCOS and the other linked gynaecological issues, but I had a limited framework that made translation to the lay person a fraught task. Many immediately defensive and rejecting of these associations not wanting to imagine that they have ‘brought on these events themselves’. 

So I saved this new name in my head and placed it aside whilst I swam through the swamp of early childhood parenting, with little enough energy to stay awake past kids’ bedtime, let alone dive into the depths of a new healing modality. 

But of course, synchronicity, need and the Universe called me back to it all and I’ve just spent the last couple of months reading up on the subject. I have not been disappointed and for sure my family are bored to tears at the repetition of my words with each new conversation with friends! I’m telling everyone who wants to listen! 

In a tiny nutshell, each personal emotional conflict (which is different and scaled for each person) can create a primordial defensive reaction in our bodies. This is immediately marked in our brains (verifiably on MRI) and processed in the appropriate space in our body: finger, heart, ovary, ankle etc. Each space representing a different emotional need. Each event an attempt to heal the emotional shock through our physical body. As the healing progresses, the markers in our brain diminish and the body reaction eases but too often we get over involved in the symptom and create that into a concern rather than an understanding of healing. 

Of course there is so much nuance and complexity to this process; my words barely do it justice. And it is something that is so important to understand for oneself – healing comes from our own personal autonomy, knowledge and power. 

So I am sharing the books here as recommendations as I found it quite tricky to know where to start. Some were more helpful than others. 

  1. I would say the best place to start, anecdotal and easy to read and absorb.  
  2. A deeper look but still accessible, with more in-depth understanding of certain illness
  3. A great pamphlet explaining the science and biology of it. More technical 
  4. This one has lots of fabulous info and also goes into the ancestral lineage of ill health, for more chronic diseases and family emotional patterns 
  5. A great dictionary to look up the various diseases and areas of the body and their emotional patterns. 
  6. More of a proving of the theories, which has its value especially for those that need facts. 

In conclusion, GNM has provided the science to back up my own personal understanding after all these years and I will be fully integrating it into our family as a foundation for fearless and vital health. 

First published on social media on 19th April 2023

Kingsblood Royal

I don’t even remember how I chose books from my father’s shelf when I had just a few hours to pick things from his house in memory of him, but as I slowly read through the pile nearly ten years later, I know I was guided by angels because each read is so rich and important. 

This is fiction, and I rarely post about those, but it is a work of such beautiful intensity and on such an important subject that I wish the whole world could get the chance to read it. 

Set towards the end of the Second World War in the the northern states of America it explores racism, segregation and morality. The Northern States legally don’t have segregation and technically discrimination shouldn’t be allowed, so compared to the southern states, still deep in segregation, the white populace feel proudly generous and liberal in their hearts. That is until one of their own, a genteel, middle class white man discovers one of his ancestors was not only an exciting, pioneering adventurer but also black. 

In those days, any trace of blood in a person’s heritage, no matter how far back, labelled you a person of colour. So here we have the story of how this chap processes this information in himself, this incredibly beautiful and humbling inner journey he makes to feel proud of his ancestor, his people and his blood; how he takes steps to educate himself on his own prejudices and listens to the local black community to hear their own stories. The array and complexities of characters means we meet opinions and viewpoints from every angle, really highlighting the humanness of a thousand opinions even within one cause of personal freedom. Added to this we face the backlash from his friends, family and community when they discover his ancestry, for which he refuses to hide, and see the ignorance and cruelty that comes from an indoctrination of prejudice. 

The protagonist is an absolute hero, despite numerous opportunities to hide this history, that no one could ever guess at, he stands tall and proud even at the point of lynching. 

Kingsblood Royal was an important novel that positively influenced the start of the Civil Rights Movement and I can see why. I feel far better educated on the vast threads that weave through our society that form the crucial layers for understanding racism and its impacts. And what I feel more deeply, is how the trauma of these times reverberates now, causing sensitivity and triggers that can seem over compensatory relative to our current society but hit ancestral wound after ancestral wound. 

I cannot imagine living in that era, which was still in living memory for some, when black people were treated as less than human. It hearts my heart to place myself in that society, from all the angles and perspectives we see in this book, and wonder how I would have behaved with whatever upbringing I might have had. I hope, whichever side, whichever culture, I would have had the courage to stand with humanity and love but I can see how easy it was to think the wrong thing was right in the ignorance of middle class society and in the righteousness of painful discrimination. There is no simple black or white here, excuse the awkward pun, but the fundamentals are, and always will be, compassion, humanity and understanding. 

An outstanding read. 

First published on social media on 5th March 2023

Whatever Arises Love That

I picked this book off the top of my pile in January, read two pages of the introduction and put it down again. I did not want to love whatever arises because what had just arisen the previous month was painful and upsetting. So I went back to my fiction pile and read four in a row! 

And then I picked it up again last week… I begin with ambivalence, moved onto passionately loving it, decided I wasn’t quite sure about it, back to ambivalence and then ending with a fondness and appreciation. I can well imagine that if Matt Kahn reads this blog he will giggle as he recognises my ego poking out to resistance and creating this pattern. 

There is a lot of permission in this book to not have to spirituality override the tough feelings and I like that a lot because…. Human. 

And yet I still felt the pressure of gracious non-reacting to challenges (and yes, I know love that feeling too!) as my ultimate spiritual goal. Which of course it is, but also maybe when I’m 90. The truth is I don’t know whether I believe our human life is about achieving this state or whether that’s just my ego in resistance again. I personally feel like our human experience is raw and real and we get to be godly and gracious a lot in between lives and whilst I wholly agree in loving all the feelings, most especially the messy and unwanted ones, I don’t think I’m going to make it to zen master in the next 40 years. Can I sit still and listen with love when someone is telling me that it’s cool to jab kids with experimental poison? Nah! Part of my purpose in this world is to speak up, to challenge, to confront. Can I learn to do it better? One thousand percent. And with that, there are tonnes of wonderful guides and pointers that this book offers. (The photos show just a snippet.)

Do I think we are awakening to a new consciousness? Absolutely! Though will it be all high vibe? I’m not so sure. For me, humanness is about opposing forces, leaning about the Ying and Yang, experiencing the polarities to deepen our universal wisdom and understanding. I love books, like this, that help me meet all of those with the best possible energy and I also resist the intention to end up passively loving ALL that arises. 

In toto, full of delights and insights, and whatever your view on our human experience, there’s never any harm in leaning how to love better. Thanks Matt for a beautifully confronting read. 

First published on social media on 23rd February 2023

It’s beginning to look a lot like Teen-mas

Six months in and I cannot deny the teen era is upon me. I’m actually finding it, mostly, delightful; watching my child expand into the world, explore, grow, stretch and return. 

I was the archetypal ‘terrible teen’, lots of deception, no strong parental attachment, peer focused, crashing into adulthood with despair and desperate hope. So there is a part of me that thinks I’ve got this covered, I know what NOT to do. But I don’t want to be naive either, society is influencing powerfully and my children do not have the same impacting factors that I had. So when I saw this book, ‘Untangled’ by Lisa Damour, I thought it would be good for me to have a read. 

It is a perfect example of how context is everything. If my values centred around fulfilling the perception of modern society, that high grades, top university and money-pumping careers are the be all and end all of life, then this would be the book to guide my teens through. It shockingly includes a suggestion of bribing your teen to achieve their grades. 

There are some solid foundation notes, like having family meals together, knowing who the friends are etc but these are not rocket science and says much about our society when having a family meal together is something to implement for the teens under the assumption that it’s not been happening before. Am I living in an alternate universe?

Are families so disconnected that they need just the basics to bring back some form of connection and communication? Are our children so undervalued that they are being left to flounder through the initiation into adulthood without parental and mentor guidance? 

This book made me achingly sad for all of those it is aimed at, parents and teens alike. To be existing together without feeling loved and held and cherished and to be thinking that this is just how life goes, how painful! Damour is doing her best in the context of this world but I wanted something much deeper, richer, more intense. I wanted a call for heart connection, for initiation, for handing down wisdom, learning from the vibrant young, healing ancestral blockages. 

The teens is a transition, there is no doubt about that, but in that is the most beautiful opportunity, offered over and over again for years and years. Forget the grades and the careers. Find the passion and the joy and the spirit and the love and the conversation and the connection. 

This is the moment your child moves into the blessing of a companion adult. Not too quickly, not until they’re ready. They still need their boundaries and circling, but that is the goal to hold onto. Staying in connection, understanding and love.  

First published on social media on 18th December 2022

The King of Knowledge

Sometimes I’m not sure how certain books arrive in my ‘to read’ pile. But I accept their intrusion and, following my own rules, they must be read. 

This is one such mystery: a Hare Krishna commentary.  I have vague memories of the Hare Krishna community hanging out in Kentish Town where I grew up, handing out food, chanting and wearing orange tones. I may well have been palmed it at some point then and it’s taken twenty (plus!) years of house moves and adventures to reach the top of my pile (most books take a year!). 

From wherever it came, the universal timing is all in perfection. As my young teen is reminding me clearly right now, those years are not about absorbing the spiritual aspects of life! I wouldn’t have really resonated with the deeper perspective that I can welcome now, in fact I can quite imagine myself being quite dismissive and derisory about it. 

But now I love reading about different faiths and beliefs. There is so much compassion and love as the foundation and I enjoyed learning much about the world of Hare Krishna. The Bhagavad Gita and Upanishads are still working their way to the top of my pile and it was fascinating to be reading a study of this ancient wisdom, wetting my taste buds for the originals. 

As with most of life, whilst I don’t chant the exact song sheet of this text, there is more that resonates than doesn’t. Faith and love being the core of existence, all the tendrils that flow from that are so nourishing and inspiring. 

And now, instead of remembering a slightly bizarre cult on the streets of my London neighbourhood, I can reframe that memory to one of charity, grace, joy and generosity. Such is the power of knowledge and understanding. 

First published on social media on 26th August 2022

The Zahir

Paulo Coehlo is probably the most significant inspiration for the creation of my writing passion. I adore reading across genre but Coehlo’s work has always spoken directly to me, not always comfortably but necessarily, and how he imparts wisdom and induces questioning is what I aspire to in my own work. 

The Zahir is no exception. It has come to me twice, desperate to be read, waiting patiently to rise to the top of my pile. And here I am, with the spiritual space (bar the near constant requests from the kids!) on our first overseas holiday, after two years of guarding and protecting our freedoms, where I can breathe those anxieties away and reflect on what needs shifting within. 

Coehlo’s characters manage to exemplify those portals into my being which I simultaneously yearn and reject. This book looks at how we carry love through our lives, how we let it stagnate, dwindle or die in ourselves and our relationships, and it pulled me up sharp on numerous occasions. 

I have, by choice, let go of so much of what sparked my soul whilst the dive into parenting set me alive in different ways. But I recognise now that the time has come to rejuvenate those embers, remember who I am outside of meals and school runs and hugs and awe. I want my children to see me alive in ALL ways, I want to model that for them but most of all I need to do that for myself. 

In my mid twenties, pre marriage, pre kids, I can remember so clearly those moments of absolute connection to divine love; holding wide the doors of new opportunities & adventures and recognising the signs and messages from God. 

That has never fully left me, but so many layers of extra have piled on top, most wonderful but plenty unnecessary and stifling too. The Zahir has reminded me of everything important and everything unimportant wrapped up in disguise. 

Love is everything. Letting it flow through me unhampered, just as a baby without a lifetime of stories hindering the energy, that is my focus. Not an overnight transformation but a post-it on my forehead for the rest of my days. 

First published on social media on 23rd August 2022