A little over five weeks ago, my daughter developed a cough. Nothing out of the ordinary, except it just didn’t shift, didn’t progress, and was violent in its dry, hollow call. We kept her at home, with a growing suspicion that it could be whooping cough and sure enough, 10 days in, the whoop appeared.
It is not called the ‘100 day cough’ for nothing and we are still in the midst of it, though the very worst is behind both of my children now. (Poetically interrupted by a dash upstairs to sit with my youngest during a coughing episode.)
I have been itching to write about the journey so far, and have finally found a moment, because it really has been extraordinary. Gratefully, I have known three families who have been through the experience, so was armed with the knowledge that accepting the lengthy duration of confinement is absolutely key.
So I cancelled everything. All the summer swimming classes, the playdates, the daytrips. Stopped. Life outside of our house has stopped. And there is a part of that which is blissful.
Please don’t misinterpret that last sentence. Whooping cough is epic and exhausting and violent and distressing for everyone AND it brings with it a spiritual unfolding, a forcing of presence and of letting go. There have been so many silver linings to this journey so far that I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Beyond the pragmatic joy that both my children will have a healthy long immunity and come out the other side of this in fighting form; my youngest decided it was time to try out the potty and without any additional stresses of carrying around potties or panicking about little early day accidents, it was a casual, easy process; my eldest informed me that when she wasn’t sick I could be grumpy but that whilst she was ill I was not grumpy – clarity, from the mouths of babes, I need to get a handle on my grumps; with everything cancelled and no pressures to be anywhere at any time, my grumpiness reduced by 75% and highlighted to me how much I ‘stress react’, projected pressure becomes grumpy mummy, time for some serious lifestyle shifts; with lots of gentle hours factored in I suddenly found that I did have time to read a few pages here and there and in the last five weeks have read three books, which must be a record since the beginning of the ‘mummy years’.
The list can go on, we have spent hours in our garden looking for worms and slugs and casually weeding as we go; we have drawn, painted, weaved, glued, beaded, cooked, danced, sung, hugged, stopped. We have noticed how an episode can be triggered by the slightest upset, the beginning of a cry, the shock of a shout, and are learning through this the importance of calm, learning to calm ourselves with breath, learning to choose our upsets.
I know as the next few weeks pass and we begin to emerge out into the world again this path will twist and turn and reveal more secrets to me. I have loved the time with my children, just connecting, seeing and being with them. Despite the media hysteria that builds over this illness, I have witnessed it to be an offering of intense and unswappable spiritual dimensions, a rite of passage. Whilst I don’t wish this illness onto others, I do wish everyone the chance to Stop for a significant stretch, it makes for a beautiful segue.
Addendum: Practical Tips for Whooping Cough
We have followed the High Vitamin C Protocol which has significantly reduced my children’s coughing episodes. Here is the information from Suzanne Humphries, MD.
We have been supported through this by our homeopath who has stayed on call to be front line with changing remedies as the pictures have changed.
We have practiced breathing exercises to stay calm and also noticing that holding the breath in the midst of the episode can reduce the violence and regain control.
We have used every muslin, towel and tea-towel in the house for catching vomit and mucous. Be prepared for the requirement and extra laundry.
We have cancelled everything…