I have just finished reading this marvel, The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk, and I have hit new depths to my understanding of trauma, not just for the world but so importantly for me too. To say I was triggered would be an understatement, so much rose up in me that felt painful and raw and therefore so necessary to face. More work to be done and more avenues to follow with the wisdom of this work by my side.
It is sensitively and compassionately written, with stories that wrench and illustrate in turn, leading through the vast array of trauma our society is generating and holding and offering a myriad of techniques and therapies that can calm, smooth, release and integrate the disregulation and pain that exists.
There is really too much to say and yet so little without simply repeating, verbatim, the written words but there are certain highlights, important themes (see photos) that are lingering in my consciousness.
I think some of my big takeaways are: how it validated so much of where I see our trauma being played out in society, from the simple, defensive, ready to be offended, response that has become the norm of reactions rather than the warning sign that needs attention; to the research that shows how much more impactful a mother’s depression is compared to a father, because biology matters, innate instinct and early years attachment cannot be overruled by a societal yen; it confirms the knowledge that abusers come from trauma, how it is by facing and healing and supporting that we shift our society not by shaming or judging or blaming.
All of these powerful confirmations actually bring me hope rather than despair, that there are healers out there in this field that really ‘get’ it. Over medicating is running its course and I so hope that means we can move onto this real ability to connect, support and understand.
After all, as Bessel says ‘Communicating fully is the opposite of being traumatised.’
First published on social media 11th November 2021