Father’s Day

Father’s Day used to be a day of contradictions for me; cherishing the love my husband brings to our children, honouring and appreciating how much he is a father to them in a way that I have never experienced for myself, whilst simultaneously not acknowledging my father at all. In fact, I am so used to my history of ignoring Father’s Day in relation to my own dad that I primarily relate to it as a day solely for my children; it is only the standard collection of status’ on Facebook that reminds me to consider him.

Yet today I feel such love for my father and I feel such love from him. I feel this because he is dead.

My father died two years ago (Goodbye Daddy) and as it is still fairly recent, I am still asked occasionally how I am doing since his passing. I sometimes feel awkward in my response to these questions because the expectation is a level of pain, but I feel the opposite. I feel so at peace with my father now, so connected to him. He comes to me as dragonflies, they fly in and out of my house and rest nearby, hovering around me with their colours vibrant and wholesome. He is here visiting me, loving me, being beside me in a way he was totally incapable of during his living years.

I have had a sense of & connection to spirit since I was young though I have not always understood how to define it, especially in the face of my very rational and scientific upbringing. However the strength of his love since death is almost tangible in its presence and having wished for it for 36 years whilst he was alive, I am incapable of denying it now.

So on this day, for the first time, I can wish both my husband and my father a Happy Father’s Day with authentic and honest gratitude for their love.