Tag: perspective

A Cautionary Tale

I am currently caught up in a dynamic where someone has decided that I’m bad. So much so that no matter what I say, don’t say, do, don’t do I can see them weave the information to fit their story of how they are perceiving me right now. 

Ultimately there is nothing I can do to shift their perspective and it’s their prerogative to feel their feelings. But whilst mulling it over recently I saw how easily and often this happens; where one discomfort or upset leads to the write off of an entire personality. 

I have been guilty of this myself but having it done to me in such clear terms where I know I can only fail, no matter which choice or action I take is a beautiful cautionary tale to absorb. I feel determined to remember the good parts even when I’m struggling with someone’s flaws (or perhaps just my judgement and perception of them after all!). 

I have always preached it to my children, that a difficult personality trait or behaviour does not define an entire human but this personal lesson really inspires me to try to separate the issue from the soul. I might still choose to walk away from a friendship or relationship because of certain events but I am determined to be more mindful that I don’t colour their entire being with a tarnished brush, particularly when I have known or loved previous parts of them. 

We were all once just the most delicious perfect little babies and that core essence remains in everyone. So as much as triggers and clashes will inevitably happen in life, seeing the gold behind each shadow is a heartening and uplifting state to be in and one that I intend to put into good practice. 

First published on social media on 17th May 2023

In Their Shoes…

This week I have been told that I am ‘inconsiderate’ and ‘unable to put myself in other people’s shoes’ by a close family member. It is a familiar pattern of criticism but certainly I think it’s important for me to reflect on it and see where my truth lies within it or indeed outside of it. 

I know that I could turn to a friend or two who would say the exact opposite and hotly defend me to boot but that’s the way of the world anywhere isn’t it? There are always places where we can validate or oppose our views and beliefs, looking outside is simply seeking confirmation rather than creating a knowing. 

So what is the truth within me? Once I would certainly have heard those words and believed them to be true; shamed and chastised myself for not being a good and kind person. Now I see them differently. 

There is truth in them but not within me. 

There is truth in them for the teller, their perception and beliefs mean that my actions and speech show those values or lack there of. I have not chosen the path that would reflect consideration for their feelings, logically that would indicate my inability to see their point of view, to step into their shoes. 

Except of course life is far more nuanced and complicated than that. I have made conscious and thoughtful decisions as to why I will not choose that path that would be ‘considerate’ and indeed in the depths of that decision is, in my view, a consideration far more powerful and important that encompasses their well-being, their freedoms and my love for humanity. 

I hope one day those will be seen but I recognise that it may also never happen. That I have to hold being judged whilst living my path with faith in my own integrity and also a humbleness to be able to accept that there is every possibility I could also one day be shown wrong in my perception. 

Meanwhile I stand in my truth, which is to protect the freedoms of mind, body and soul for all of my family and for all of humanity.  I do that without grandeur but with the small day to day decisions and choices that can seem so unnecessary, so petty, so inconsiderate without the bigger picture that I have in my eye-line. 

So in the end I am grateful for the criticisms, they have forced me to reflect and have helped me clarify even more clearly that I stand by those values in the face of a thousand words of judgements. I will bear the bruising of those words because I know, in this moment, I am making the best and most considerate of decisions. 

First published on social media on 24th January 2022

Facts

It is so easy to believe that what we know NOW is the absolute truth. Science is all about the miraculous, the knowledge above the masses, the elite few intelligentsia.

But really it is an industry fuelled by ego that preaches dogmatism despite each new discovery. Wisdom shows us that paradigm shifts have created waves and leaps that have blown old ‘facts’ out of the water. Yet we still hang on to the current truth rather than the reality that everything is up for rediscovery and new paradigms.

The science is never settled. I will accept 2+2=4, although even then I’m willing to see it through a different lens and be wrong. But everything else is a mix of culture, ego, timing, perspective and belief and all of that can turn on a dime.

#science #dogmatism #paradigm #ego #wisdom #belief #perspective #openmind #openheart

First Written on Social Media 7 May 2021