Tag: power

Coronation Conflicts

I grew up a staunch royalist. What wasn’t there to love about the royal family? Even with the obvious drama, it just showed how human they were. And of course there was Diana…. the ultimate real life princess. Fairy tales do come true even the bad bits. 

As my eyes have opened to the power dynamics controlling the world, the media, the messaging, I have longed for the royal family to be immune to it all. But I can’t face the truth about everything else and stick my head in the sand about the devastating corruption and dis-ease that permeates it all. They are part of the uber rich, part of the intricate connections that believe they can make the rest of us mere mortals dance under their puppet strings. 

So what does this weekend of coronation extravaganza mean to me. I cannot lie, my royalist heart adores the pomp, the glitter, the dream of being that goddamn rich! And faced with the darkness, how do I respond to it all? And here I am torn. It’s just not so clearly black and white. This weekend creates connection, community, national pride, all of which I think hold huge value. I love feeling a common connection with our entire country over one weekend, isn’t the spiritual ideal achieving the understanding of oneness? 

And I can hear the excuses in my head too, truly if everything I have heard about the royals is true, surely I cannot condone a single thing done in their name? But I think that’s the nub of it for me, I’m just not completely convinced; do I think Kate is part of some dark underworld? Or do I think she’s doing her work with the best of intentions which may also have links to a dark underworld? A bit like the doctors during Covid, most of them working with the best of intention despite the harm they were causing. But I didn’t clap for them…. 

I guess these are the complexities of human nature and I have to accept my own hypocrisy within it all. As always it gives me greater compassion for those that I judge to be hypocritical. I’m not pledging allegiance to the King but I did wear red, white and blue and attend a local event and truth be told I still shop from Amazon too! 

First published on social media on 7th May 2023

Rageful

My husband and I are at THAT mid-life stage. There is a lot of emotional turmoil in many of our friends’ relationships, the cusp of divorces or other challenging consequences, and we ourselves are certainly far from immune to feeling the spiritual demands of these years. 

One of the messages my husband keeps bringing home from his friends is how they feel they have coped with their wives as they have journeyed through the menopause and a recurrent theme is that they were ‘crazy and rageful’. 

Now I am sceptical about this description for so many reasons but I also understand that many men just don’t understand the process, cycles and energy of women. We can be an enigma to them and there is dual responsibility here, the women can help men unravel their waves and cycles (though to be fair, many women are also disconnected from our ancient wisdom and wild power via modern societies demands so aren’t always able to explain or fully understand their own patterns) and the men can be willing to try and learn about this wisdom too, rather than simply dismissing it as crazy or unpredictable. 

I am not an expert but I certainly know that a few days before my menses there is only a fine veil between my patience and frustration. The rest of the month I can walk through fields of graciousness, but annoy me close to my bleed and it’s just a tiny ditch away from anger. It is not irrational, there is always a valid trigger, it’s just that the comparison of how I communicate and resolve that annoyance is a chasm away from the rest of the time. So I understand that men can receive that as too different to process. 

Now brining this to the menopause, I myself have begun to have disrupted cycles. This month I am already ten days over my usual date and that window of short fuse is stretching into a full conservatory. I suddenly realise how this is being received by the masculine, that odd day of ‘crazy’ that can be quickly forgotten or forgiven each month is stretching and elongating. That ditch is being jumped back and forth on too many occasions and when will it end? What if I don’t bleed for months? Will I still feel this premenstrual angst for the entire time? 

And it has purpose. Just like it did for every regular cycle I have had for the last thirty something years. Would I describe myself as rageful? Nope. But I’m certainly less gracious right now. I’m less willing to put up with my notion of bullshit, I’m less patient, I need authenticity, directness and clean communication. Is that wrong? Could that be positive? I believe so. 

Not knowing when this will end, I can’t just check out, read books, take baths and try all my previous ploys to navigate those one or two days of lore. I have to learn to adapt and adjust but I’m also not going to be labelled as negatively rageful when I know the root of my energy is power. I will learn to channel it and honour it as I step into this new era of my life. I am moving into a time where I have the greatest energetic potential, so it’s no wonder that the transformation is fiery. Call it rageful if you must but I will reclaim that word and alchemise it into gold.  

First published on social media on 15th April 2023

The Evolution of War

I can’t take credit for this photo or its title but it is how I see where we are at, right in this moment in time.

We are at war for our freedoms, like every war has been about – control vs freedom, power vs liberty.

Many of those that can’t see this are in a place I can understand: a denial and a want to imagine the best. Surely these are just mistakes, perhaps even incompetences? Some seek blame at the hands of those fighting for everyone’s freedoms, determined not to find fault with their current perspective. If they are even reading these words, they might dismiss me as hysterical, a CT* or doom merchant.

I wish I was. History has repeated itself for millennia, but so quickly we forget. We can’t imagine that such darkness can really exist, so it is relegated to the past, to something we must forget and bury under the guises of innovation and development. But power corrupts or should I be clearer, only the wounded seek power as validation. Shouldn’t we therefore consider anyone in such a role with natural caution?

Wisdom and power are not the same. A wise leader wishes to aid, heal and guide without remittance. It is time to learn the difference, to remember the difference, to teach the difference. Will this struggle be endless or will we one day truly allow freedom of spirit, mind, body and soul to be celebrated and embraced as our constant?

That ideal is worth fighting for, speaking up for and showing up for. I am here.

*conspiracy theorist aka critical thinker

First published on social media 4th November 2021

WWIII

The idea of a World War III was always a vague spectre in my consciousness. I grew up knowing that another global war would most likely mean the end of the world, nuclear battles, horror and unfathomable imagery.

Of course the world has moved on and control is no longer necessary by physical force but by psychological manipulation.

We are here right now, in the midst of WWIII.

This is a global battle of power. Minds are being won and lost at the hands of those with excessive power, ego and sociopathic ideology. More ingenious than ever, they are able to use the general populace, their foot soldiers, to form the lines of conflict, to rage and batter and beat each other with words and condemnation. All this within our own communities, on our own doorstep.

Who needs a red button? Who needs to destroy with nuclear power when we have finally realised our own individual power can be harnessed collectively for a far more efficient effect, with less environmental collateral damage.

Who needs real soldiers on the street when we can create such fear and loathing that we all police our neighbours into conforming to the new rules? For our safety.

Who needs a battlefield when the verbal bullets fly around social media, taking out the goodies and the resistance through censorship, despair and shame?

This is the final war between dark and light. Between love and hate. Between fear and faith. Truth and Lies.

It’s time to choose your side. To stand up for love, faith, truth, and light or swirl in the midst of the darkness and have your liberty, autonomy and vitally sucked out of you.

Yes the words we are hearing can be scary and yes the truth can hurt. Have courage. Step up into your noble self.

Remember our ancestors from all of our personal cultures who raised their weapons and faced their enemies head on with pride, honour and integrity. Raise your beacon of light and ride into our new future together, where love and truth always prevail.

The Real Privilege

My husband beings home the money so that we can raise our children with one parent as their solid continuum. Except he hasn’t been able to bring home the money for four months now.

The government has ‘supported’ us during this time of COVID-19 with less than a quarter of our monthly expenses (and I mean expenses not frivolity; food, bills, mortgage). We have taken a six month mortgage holiday. And we have had to swallow our pride and ask for money from family. Yet I still know how privileged we are, the fact that we have family to ask, that they are able to give. We are the lucky ones.

Not so a vast swathe of, not only the British population, but in fact the global population. Many of whom will now be facing dire poverty, starvation, homelessness and all the mental and physical health issues that come with those. It sickens me to my core to imagine how people who work hard, strive hard to support their families and loved ones have had this purpose snatched away from them with so little consideration for their plight.

It sickens me to hear people advocate for further limiting restrictions to protect their fears of illness and death. Even if we didn’t know at the beginning, we know now. This virus is over 99.5% survivable. This has been a lockdown of privilege beyond all proportion. It is for those that can comfortably exist without monthly income or can work from their laptops at home. It is for the celebrities hiding out in their estates and telling us to be good and kind people by following their orders.

The people who will come out of this farce and injustice unscathed are the most privileged people on the planet and they seemingly couldn’t give two hoots about the rest of the world. I don’t think I could bear to hear another ‘leader’ of our world pretend to care about the masses when it is so obvious that they only care about their own reputations and well being.

We have been discussing white privilege in society for some time now, but it is the same people that make a show of fighting for this cause that are now silent for those lives decimated by lockdown and the suppression of our liberties. Token gestures.

I am angry.

How have we come to this place where we can so comfortably destroy infinitesimally more lives than we have saved and still be convincing the general public to turn on each other in the name of common decency?

I spoke to six strangers at the farmers market today who were not aware of their rights around the ‘mandated’ rules and regulations. They were all in fear of fines and reprisals despite not approving of or believing in the ‘laws’.

I am fortunate enough to be tapped into a world where we remind each other of the ‘other’ truths, the other possibilities and options rather than that of the mainstream media. An industry that is dictated to by just five or six billionaires, so divorced from real life, it means nothing to them. We have become their pawns, to manipulate at will.

It’s time for the rebellion, for the resistance.

It’s time to explore your rights and hold on bloody tight to them without relinquishing them to the privileged powers that be.

Rise up! Rise up! Rise up!

Anarchy

‘The one who tells the stories rules the world.’

 Hopi Indian Proverb

About twenty years ago,  I read the Aquarian Conspiracy by Marilyn Ferguson, a manifesto for personal and social transformation and, within that, I loved her call for a paradigm shift in social governance.

She called for a complete rewrite on the hierarchical structure of government, to be replaced with a lattice network of expertise. Whilst I believe in a natural hierarchy within communities based on skills and wisdom, I don’t believe or support our current model of hierarchy based on power and money.

So if we move from hierarchy where do we go? Anarchy?… If hierarchy is a body of authoritative officials organised in nested ranks, anarchy becomes the state of society without an authoritative governing body. It is popular to associate anarchy with chaos and confusion, but like most mainstream narratives these day, that’s a fear definition rather than a truth.

I think I was born an anarchist… either that or trained quickly before being consciously aware! Whichever way, I have always pushed back against authority for authorities sake. I deeply respect wisdom and experience and I am so happy to sit, listen and learn from those teachers, but following arbitrary rules for the purpose of control and order, under the opinion of someone I might not respect, doesn’t sit well with me.

So I have walked my own path of peaceful anarchy for many moons. I stepped out of the expectation of defined career and indeed also of further education; I healed myself without drugs; I birthed my children at home; I refuse to inject them with toxins; I arm myself with knowledge of health rather than bowing to the authority of medical dictators; I don’t social distance in times of viral epidemics because I believe human connect to be a better protector of health.

I don’t reject or conform to any party line out of principle, but out of instinct, personal education, experience and choice. I am my own person within this global tribe of connection. I don’t believe any of my choices have harmed anyone, I am conscious of my community and loved ones but I will not give my power away.

If change is required, I will endeavour to create it without asking some body of ‘authority’ to do it on my behalf. I will not wait for permission, the only thing I will wait for is clarity, wisdom and the right moment. What I have seen this year, 2020, is a whole world waiting for permission for their lives and all I want to do is teach them the power of anarchy.

‘We have to accept personal responsibility for uplifting our lives.’

Chögyam Trungpa, Tibetan Lama

Collective Responsibility

When my children are present to another child’s unkind behaviour towards someone else, I teach them that if they stand by and witness this unkindness without action, then they are complicit in it. Their choice of action is to walk away, if they don’t feel safe or empowered enough to do differently, or to speak up for what they believe to be true, fair or kind.

Fortunately they are yet to really experience a scenario of group, collective bullying or indeed pressure, but it is this principle that I am hoping to instil in them; that even as a minority figure, they will stand in their truth.

When we stand by and witness injustice or errors of behaviour then I believe we bear collective responsibility for those actions. Though I would clarify that there is a difference between feeling disempowered to create any impact and the abdication of responsibility.

And so it is with our government, media and health service. Those organisational bodies that were created to serve the population; to inform us fairly; to empower us to create our best lives; to represent our values and beliefs; and to work with us to form our supportive and symbiotic society.

Are they doing this? Have they been serving us well during this time of suspected pandemic? How long have the collective been allowing them to furrow their own paths to the detriment of the populous?

Too long. Too long have we complained about governmental power, about media manipulation and god-like doctors who have long been divorced from the true and ancient art of healing. And yet we have accepted it all. We have stood by and witnessed ill treatment, gross negligence, abuse of power and the manipulation of language to engender fear and control.

We are collectively responsible. We can continue along this path, accept ever increasing restriction and removal of freedom or we can use the power of action to force accountability.  Have we forgotten that we, the population, are far stronger, far more powerful and far more collectively wise that these small, tight circles that think they can control us?

Stand up, speak up. History does not need to be repeated. We have learned our lessons. Our collective power is unlimited, let us use it for inspirational and progressive change. Now.

Disappointed

One word keeps hitting me throughout these days of lockdown.

Disappointed.

I keep trying to push it back. Reminding myself that everyone has their own unique journey, that each person has their own truth, perceptions and understandings and the best, most constructive approach is compassion.

And then the word hits me again.

I feel such deep soulful disappointment right now.

This current global lockdown is a mirror of our individual disempowerment. Disempowered in the knowledge of our own bodies and our own health; where we can be imbued with such fear from outside that we surrender all autonomy, personal freedom and potentially medical freedom to the powers that be.

I know there is a huge swathe of society that has been suppressed through economy, racism and separatism and I really compassionately understand how much harder it is for these people to step into their power without permission and support. But I’m not talking about them.

I’m talking about circles of supposedly empowered leaders and advocates. People whom I used to hear daily, speaking up for truth and health and autonomy and freedom who have utterly surrendered to this suppression in one fatally easy step. These people have disappointed me. They were once people I admired and aspired to, whether in friendship, as peers, mentors, guides or elders. I feel let down by their willingness to accept control governed by fear, not only without a fight but with an inverse righteousness towards anyone who is challenging this horrendous power play.

I see clearly that I am having to let go, that this disappointment has pierced so deeply that those relationships will forever be tainted with it and many will not survive.

A new dawn has broken and there is a profound clarity within me as to which path I must take. I can still feel all the love and compassion for the fear these people are carrying but I can no longer hold them as aspirations or role models.

I have withdrawn myself from two significant women’s groups, which were my foundation stones on my personal development journey, to let go of these was something I could never have imagined. But I know if I cling to those bodies of fear for reasons of sentimentality, I will be absorbing that energy myself.

I will sit through this disappointment, allow it to suffuse me and move through. It is time for a cleanse like no other, to empower me to stand in my passionate truth and speak up for our global and personal freedoms.